Archive for February, 2012


Words of Wisdom applied to this text
— Love is Patient, Love is Kind – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4 – 8
— It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle

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As I meditate in prayer of gratitude for my parents, there are a well of emotions and thoughts that wants to come up. Emotions and thoughts that are nudging their way in; wanting to interrupt. Emotions and thoughts that are NOT of gratitude.

Unresolved moments of disagreements and disappointments I’ve had with my parents that has brought me to tears, frustration, anger, and resentment in the past. “Forgiven” but not Forgotten moments from childhood to adulthood.

As I was about to make efforts to nudge them away with much more force, instinctively I let them win and allowed them to interrupt my prayer of gratitude and it was just as instinctive that the perspective came to birth.

We All Have Flaws But There is So Much To Be Thankful For

Did I hear these words before?
If yes, Where and When? I must have saved them for another day just the same as I saved those negative memories for a day when I need them. (Which now influences the thought – Why would I wish to save bad memories?)

If no, is it a message from GOD?

I would say both. All wisdom comes from GOD and everyone speaks words that are channels from GOD. And wisdom I’ve learned throughout the years has now made me able to reflect and find the answers within.

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I remember learning such a great lesson from Iyanla Vanzant a few months ago.
Close Your Eyes
Drop Your Arms
Let the hurt feelings come

And I see now what I’ve done.

Additionally, the words “Love is Patient, Love is Kind” were spoken and reflected in the lessons my Pastor and his wife shared this past Sunday. A Lesson I have stored within and now have helped me decipher this thought that my parents have flaws but there is so much that I can thankful for. I in turn have flaws and there is so much that I am thankful for, such as they continue to love me with all my flaws, their love is Unconditional. (tears are welling up right now, I am Oh…So..Thankful!!)

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Now I can meditate with Gratitude so much more effectively even when I allow those nudges of disagreements to join in…Because they have influenced MORE gratitude.

I am now MORE grateful because the wisdom stored within have now given me strength to welcome, reflect and overcome those negative nudges.

Additionally, I am MORE grateful for Aristole’s words “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

I know in the past, I would have allowed those negative nudges to interrupt and overpower and influence my mood for the rest of the day.

A mood that would resonate negative energy and awaken a new disagreement or argument between a parent and I or both my parents and I.

I do not wish to end my day this way.

I chose to end my day with love.

I leave now to continue growing my list of Gratitude ❤

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Morning Gratitude

I’ve been putting so much focus on finding my purpose, creating my purpose, achieving my purpose in life that I was slowly but surely losing my appreciation for the ones who gave me life in the first place.

My Parents
My Grandparents
My Ancestors
My GOD

I now believe that I struggled and continue to struggle with accomplishing my purpose in life because I didn’t appreciate what they have passed on to me.

I struggle because I am inconsistent with my gratitude for what they have blessed me with. Selfishly appreciative when they give and I take. Conversely, I should be the one giving them so much more for what they have given me. That in which I could not give to myself…..

Life….

The breath to live, the eyes to see this computer screen, the brain to think these words, the fingers to type these words, the mouth to speak these words, the heart to confess these words.

I am so grateful because they have given me LIFE. Human Life. The opportunity to live 100 years. To see the best of times and the worst of times that can potentially unfold to the best of times.

An ant’s life can’t compare, a bird’s life can’t compare, a horse’s life can’t compare (as lovely as they are) to a human’s life experience.

So Indeed I am grateful.

And I determine each morning, each time that I wake, to reflect with Gratitude and say

Thank you
Thank you GOD
I fully acknowledge this day was given to me
I fully acknowledge that I did not give this day to myself
I give Thanks to My Ancestors who gave birth and raised my Grandparents
I give thanks to My Grandmothers who carried and raised my Parents
I give thanks to my mother who carried us (my twin and I) in her womb for 8 months
I give thanks to her for the sacrifice she gave of her body, of her once small physique, to continue the flow of life on earth unselfishly

I give thanks to my Parents who raised us
Who gave us more days of happiness versus discipline
Who gave up so much of their life; living to work instead of working to live
So that my siblings and I can achieve what they did not have the opportunity to achieve in Haiti
The **Freedom** to accomplish so much more in America

I give thanks to our Heavenly Father
The man I lacked appreciation for the most
HE who only had wisdom and lessons to keep me safe, to keep me holy, to keep me pure
And yet I have doubted him, I have denied him, I have disobeyed him
And have paid such a great price in all categories of my life
Which makes me so utterly grateful for the limitless opportunities HE gives us to redeem ourselves
I am utterly grateful for HIS grace
And fully Acknowledge that I could not have all that was listed above without HIM.

I see now that my purpose starts with them.

Oprah said it best

“The strength that your Ancestors gave, is the strength that you come from”

I see that strength is the foundation of my purpose in life. Strength to do what has never been accomplished before in my family history. Strength to overcome a Generational delay of Success. Generational delay that can be traced all the way back to when Hispaniola was discovered and colonized.

Strength to accomplish what every human being has a natural right to accomplish with only one life to live.

Financial Well Being
Physical Well Being
Relational Well Being
Social Well Being
Mental Well Being
Spiritual Well Being

Indeed I am Grateful and my purpose starts with consistently paying homage to them.

Throughout my Six Years, I have seeked and found so many sites, books, TV shows to fulfill my desire to be happy

Financially
Physically
Mentally
Socially
Relationally
Spiritually

And its through intentionally searching for ways and solutions and accidentally stumbling on certain ways and solutions; that I have now come to realize why I am inconsistent.

I have grown depend on way too many sources; trying to fix too many problems I had in all six categories.

There is so much truth in the saying “When you seek, You will Find”

I have bookmarked hundreds of sites, I have wish listed hundreds of books, I have watched thousands of shows and I have found that one must start with Gratitude.

I am now committed to being Grateful for what I have
instead of being so up and so down with what I don’t have (i.e. feeling so down about being Six Years Behind).

It’s time to release the feeling of regret, disappointment, shame, anger, guilt, frustration, the why me syndrome, doubtful determination….

It’s time to replace it all with greatly instilled Gratitude.

It will be six years since I graduated from College

SIX years
2192 days (including leap years)
131,520 hours of scattered living
7,891,200 mins emotionally rollarcoasting through
tears, laughter, anger, joy, frustration, new-found trust, lost trust, love, pain, forgiving, grudging, hating, denying, shame, bliss…

EIGHT million minutes which included sleeping some of the negative away, sleeping some of the positive away, allowing the negative to determine my next steps, allowing the positive to determine my next steps.

Scattered Living.

Six Years has gone by and if I can name my six years of life in the Real World in one word. It would be

Inconsistent.

Inconsistent Physically
Inconsistent Mentally
Inconsistent Spiritually
Inconsistent Financially
Inconsistent Relationally
Inconsistent Socially

I’ve desperately needed Change in every single category. And I have experienced change many a time. Negative Change and a Positive Change.
The only problem was and is – Consistency.
A happy ending in each one.
It has yet to be achieved……..CONSISTENTLY.

It’s time to practice Positive Change that will lead to Positive Growth.
To Live a Better Life Consistently.Image